I've made it through another Mother's Day. That might seem like a weird thing to say, but the truth is, Mother's Day has been pretty awful for me since I lost Olivia. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love her brothers, but it's hard to be happy on this day when one … Continue reading Being Her Mommy
pediatric cancer
The Grieving Mother
The day my daughter died I forever became a grieving mother. I never wanted that title. And it isn't something I would wish on anyone else. Even though I knew Olivia wasn't going to make it, nothing prepared me for the night she took her last breath. To see this tiny human I had … Continue reading The Grieving Mother
If And When
I am in a season of life right now that is far from easy. I have spent the past few days just feeling run down, exhausted and ready to give up. Have you ever felt that way? Like nothing is okay and you no longer have the energy to even pretend like it is. I feel … Continue reading If And When
Letting Go
There seems to be a common theme in my life these days. I am reminded daily of the need to let go of the old in order to make room for the new. It's taken a long time and a lot of prayer to begin to embrace this idea. I am someone who desperately wants … Continue reading Letting Go
A Mother’s Tears
This past week a beautiful little girl who lives just 45 miles away died from brain cancer. Her death has affected me deeply. It has brought up so many emotions as I remember what the week we lost Olivia was like. When your child is diagnosed with cancer you know the possibility of losing them … Continue reading A Mother’s Tears
Happy Birthday In Heaven, Darling Girl
Olivia, my darling girl, how I miss you. It's hard to believe that Sunday marked the 4th birthday we've celebrated without you. I never thought your first birthday would be the only one we would get to celebrate together. I will never forget the day of your first birthday party. You were in remission and … Continue reading Happy Birthday In Heaven, Darling Girl
Should Have Been Her Last
4 years ago today was supposed to be Olivia's last chemo treatment ever. After 7 months of high intensity chemo treatments, our baby girl had no more evidence of disease just in time for her 1st birthday celebration a few days later. I can't even begin to describe the joy we felt at that time. … Continue reading Should Have Been Her Last
Here’s To 2017
The common consensus seems to be that 2016 was a tough year. There were serious hardships. Down economies. Trials. And a lot of grief. This sentiment rings true for our family too. 2016 was a tough one. As 2017 kicks off I am ready to leave the past year behind. While 2016 brought forth a … Continue reading Here’s To 2017
Post Holiday Blues
The day after Christmas I woke up with a familiar ache. My heart longed for my little girl and I spent the whole day in a funk. Nothing and no one made me happy. All I wanted to do was hide under my covers and cry. This is the reality of child loss. Sometimes the … Continue reading Post Holiday Blues
Waiting For Chaos
Life has been filled with chaos for as long as I can remember. It all started shortly after we got married and made the move to Wyoming from Nevada. That move changed everything. We were newly married and left behind our family, friends, and everything we had ever known to move to a tiny little … Continue reading Waiting For Chaos
Beauty From The Ashes 