Before I even knew Olivia was going to die I had a deep desire for another baby. My pregnancy with the twins and their first months of life had been really tough. I longed for another opportunity to carry a baby, hoping with all I had for a better experience.
When Livy died from brain cancer at 20 months old my heart and my arms ached. Having another baby wasn’t about trying to replace her or the love still reserved for my precious girl. But going from a family of four to a family of three was truly excruciating.
And then just a little over a year after Olivia passed came my sweet little rainbow. My Landon.
This 8 lb 9 oz baby came screaming into my world so full of energy and life. And the absolute spitting image of his sissy.
Today my precious rainbow baby is 3 years old and matches his sister’s sassiness in every way. And he still shares her big brown eyes and wild brunette hair.
Landon has done so much to help heal my broken heart. He is an every day reminder of Olivia’s sweet soul. He even shares her affinity for my hair. They could both spend hours brushing it with their fingers.
I miss Olivia every single day with every ounce of my being. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that I could not have survived her loss without the sweet little boys I still have the privilege of raising.
As they say there is always a storm before the beauty of a rainbow. And I am so grateful for mine.
The Olivia Caldwell Foundation is a 501c3 nonprofit that raises money for pediatric cancer research in memory of Olivia Caldwell, who passed away from brain cancer at 20 months old in October 2013. To date we have given $225,000 to pediatric cancer research plus an additional $13,000 in gift cards for pediatric oncology patients. To learn more or to donate please visit www.oliviacaldwellfoundation.org.