Time. There never seems to be quite enough of it. Whether you wish you had a little more time with your kids on the weekend, a few more days to spend on vacation, or even a few more hours before you have to make that big presentation at work; time always seems to be lacking. … Continue reading Time
child death
The Morning After
This week has been rough. My head has been spinning around the 5th anniversary of Olivia's passing. Exactly 5 years ago yesterday, on October 22, 2013, I held my baby girl in my arms when she took her very last breath at 20 months and 3 days old. All day long my head was filled … Continue reading The Morning After
The Momma, The Lion
Something strange happens when you become a momma. Your life as you knew it melts away. It is no longer about you. Your needs, wants, dreams, everything slips into the background. Suddenly your life is 100% about this beautiful little person. That is only magnified when you have a sick child. I became a first … Continue reading The Momma, The Lion
The Rainbow
Before I even knew Olivia was going to die I had a deep desire for another baby. My pregnancy with the twins and their first months of life had been really tough. I longed for another opportunity to carry a baby, hoping with all I had for a better experience. When Livy died from brain … Continue reading The Rainbow
She Was
To say that child loss is life-changing is such an understatement. Losing a child doesn't just break your heart and change your life. It causes a truly cosmic shift in the makeup of your soul. I sat down to write a post today about the heartbreak that comes each time I have to refer to … Continue reading She Was
Piece By Piece
The day I lost my only daughter, Olivia, to brain cancer my heart shattered. Something deep inside of me broke. And ever since that awful moment on October 22, 2013 I have been living as an incomplete person. She was part of me and living without her now just doesn't feel right. For 4 years … Continue reading Piece By Piece
Embracing The New
2017 is quickly coming to an end and it has me reflecting on how much life has changed this year. This has been a year of transitions and new beginnings. Some of those transitions have been horribly painful while others have been truly great. 2017 was the year my marriage officially ended after separating near … Continue reading Embracing The New
She Saw Jesus
People ask me often how I can cling to my faith the way I do after losing my only daughter to brain cancer before she even made it to her 2nd birthday. And the answer to that question always takes me back to the night Olivia died. Watching a loved one, especially your child, die … Continue reading She Saw Jesus
How Could I Say Goodbye?
Today I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. It has been this way each morning for at least a week. I have known what's coming and I am anything but prepared. This week is packed full off anniversaries. Each one even worse than the one before it. And my heart just isn't … Continue reading How Could I Say Goodbye?
Last Snow
The first snow storm of the season blanketed Casper earlier this week. As I watched the snow fall, silently covering the city in white, my mind took me back in time to the first Casper snow four years ago. Ironically, just as I am this week, I was fighting my first cold of the season … Continue reading Last Snow