It’s hard to believe but this is already the 3rd Christmas we will celebrate without Olivia. Her absence is noticed this year just as much as it was the first.

We started the tradition of decorating our tree for her that first horrible Christmas in 2013 when her loss was just barely 2 months old. We found these beautiful clip-on butterflies at Walmart in one of her favorite colors…purple. And bought purple and silver ornaments to match. It’s now our Olivia Christmas tree. A way for us to still include her in our traditions even though she can’t be here with us physically.

As Wyatt gets older he expresses just how much he misses his beloved twin sister. He’s always felt her loss, but now he has the language to explain to us what it feels like. They shared a womb and a birthday. They are connected in a way that we will never be able to completely understand. He doesn’t feel whole and he probably never will until they are reunited in Heaven one day.

Wyatt tells me constantly how much he wishes his sissy was here to do life with him. When we take a fun trip or he gets to do something special he tells me, “Mommy I wish sissy could be here with me.” And other times he will simply be playing with a toy and tell me, “Mommy, can sissy come home from Heaven so we can play? I miss her!”

This Christmas (just like each and every one) will be a little less merry because of our big loss. Her stocking hangs empty on the mantle and we have one less kid bounding out of bed on Christmas morning. Cancer stole our princess and with her some of our joy.

Until we meet again Olivia girl, we love you.

Olivia Caldwell Foundation is a 501c3 nonprofit that raises money for pediatric cancer research. You can learn more and donate at http://www.oliviacaldwellfoundation.org.