I'm not the same person I used to be. Before her. Before cancer. I've always been a bit of a worrier. I'm cautious by nature and I can easily fear the worst. But now I am living through the reality of one of my worst fears coming true. I lost a child. I lost … Continue reading Never The Same
pediatric brain cancer
Tree For Sissy
It's hard to believe but this is already the 3rd Christmas we will celebrate without Olivia. Her absence is noticed this year just as much as it was the first. We started the tradition of decorating our tree for her that first horrible Christmas in 2013 when her loss was just barely 2 months old. … Continue reading Tree For Sissy
And the clock keeps ticking…
Time seemed to stand still when I was pregnant with Wyatt and Olivia. It felt like I was going to be pregnant forever and that day would never come when I would hold them in my arms and finally become a mother to two living, breathing, beautiful, amazing human beings. And now today I take … Continue reading And the clock keeps ticking…
Please don’t forget
When your child is first diagnosed with cancer, your phone rings off the hook. Everyone is eager to help in any way they can with offers of financial assistance, meals, and many, many prayers. Then the cancer battle rages on and slowly that support starts to dwindle. Your family is still embroiled in the fight … Continue reading Please don’t forget
Too Beautiful For Earth
There is a saying that has been shared with me countless times. It basically says that those children and babies that are taken to Heaven before they have a chance at a real life here are simply too beautiful for earth. I believe this to be true. Since her conception in my womb, Olivia was just … Continue reading Too Beautiful For Earth
18 Months
Today marks 18 months since we said our goodbyes. 18 months since she took her last breath. Since we held her in our arms. Kissed her sweet cheeks. Since we had her in our presence. Olivia only graced this earth for 20 months and 3 days, and with each passing minute we get closer and … Continue reading 18 Months
Scars
Each and every one of us is covered in scars. We carry them emotionally, physically, spiritually. It's a badge that shows what we have been through. It's a sign of both our weakness and our strength. Olivia had many scars. She had one on the left side of her head from her surgical brain biopsy … Continue reading Scars
PTSD After Child Loss
After you lose a child, you experience the most horrifying of fears coming true. This precious baby that once took up residence in your belly has left this earth for Heaven before you. It goes against the natural order of life that we all take for granted. And after that horrible reality takes place, you … Continue reading PTSD After Child Loss
Mommy’s Little Girl
A few days ago we reached 17 months since Olivia passed away. Life feels more normal but my heart aches because I still miss her with every ounce of my being. We had 20 months and 3 days with our baby girl. It kills me far more than I can explain that she is no … Continue reading Mommy’s Little Girl
It Will Never Happen To Me
Having a child die was a great fear of mine. For long before I had children I had a deep-rooted fear that I would have a child get cancer. I don't really know where that fear came from, so I can only assume it was God preparing me for the day that this would become … Continue reading It Will Never Happen To Me
Beauty From The Ashes 