The Momma, The Lion

Something strange happens when you become a momma. Your life as you knew it melts away. It is no longer about you. Your needs, wants, dreams, everything slips into the background. Suddenly your life is 100% about this beautiful little person. That is only magnified when you have a sick child. I became a first... Continue Reading →

Beauty In The Mud

It's been 4 years baby girl. Four years since I got to hold you or feel your sweet little lips on my cheek. Four years since I heard your laugh or have been able to run my fingers through your beautiful brown hair. And I miss it all. I miss you. My anxiety has been... Continue Reading →

Sunshine And Hurricanes

Have you ever tried to explain the unexplainable to someone? We all have things that have happened that change you. Things that suddenly redefine who you are at your very core. You can't explain what it has been like. Trying to put the experience into words that do any real justice is impossible. For me... Continue Reading →

I Would Still Choose You

Being the mother of a sick child is an excruciating experience. There isn't much that could be more painful than watching your baby suffer and not be able to do a thing about it. I have never felt more exhausted than I did during those 16 months that Olivia battled cancer. Every day was a... Continue Reading →

If And When

I am in a season of life right now that is far from easy. I have spent the past few days just feeling run down, exhausted and ready to give up. Have you ever felt that way?┬áLike nothing is okay and you no longer have the energy to even pretend like it is. I feel... Continue Reading →

Letting Go

  There seems to be a common theme in my life these days. I am reminded daily of the┬áneed to let go of the old in order to make room for the new. It's taken a long time and a lot of prayer to begin to embrace this idea. I am someone who desperately wants... Continue Reading →

This Is Grief

I have been in the chapel at our church countless times since Olivia's funeral 3.5 years ago. But each time I'm in there all I can see is her casket sitting up on the altar surrounded by flowers. I can still feel the tightness in my chest as I walked out the door behind her... Continue Reading →

Why?

Why? Such a simple, but incredibly loaded question. It is the question on the mind of anyone who has suffered through incredible hardship or tragedy. It is the question we ask when we see someone we love or admire going through something difficult. It is a question I have asked myself on more than one... Continue Reading →

Greatest Calling

I saw a quote online today posted by one of my favorite Christian artists. It said, "God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling." This statement couldn't ring more true for my life. Becoming Olivia's mom was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. Words can't really... Continue Reading →

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