Olivia has been in heaven now for 20 months, 1 week and 3 days. She was only alive for 20 months and 3 days. That means that Olivia has officially been in heaven longer than the amount of time she spent on earth.

Needless to say the last few weeks have been tough. I think about her constantly! I imagine what life would be like right now if things had panned out the way I had always hoped they would. I would have two 3 year olds and a 7 month old. Life would be even busier, but undoubtedly that much more full of love.

It is a strange reality to know that with each passing day our daughter becomes more of a memory. I can still remember her vividly but it hurts when I realize that I have forgotten some of the most basic details of her amazing personality.

How she used to laugh about the strangest things… like when I sneezed. Or when I said “No.” Or when there was a big gust of wind or an especially rainy day. She laughed at the things that might cause others annoyance. She could find joy in anything and everything. She was a truly special soul.

Every day I wake up with the reality that one of my children is missing. My boys are without their sister. Brett and I are without our daughter. Childhood cancer stole her from us and no matter how much we wish things were different, that reality can’t change.

We will see you again in heaven Livy girl. Until then, we miss you always.

Olivia Caldwell Foundation is a 501c3 nonprofit that raises money for childhood cancer research and programs, including the opening of a pediatric oncology clinic in Wyoming, resource packets with info on foundations that can help children battling cancer and their families, and trainings for medical professionals. To learn more about our mission and how you can help, please visit www.oliviacaldwellfoundation.org.