Yesterday marked 5 years since the day I learned my baby girl was going to die from brain cancer. Normally I spend that day holed up in my house, but this year I spent my day roaming the very halls where I received that news on October 17, 2013. Ever since we started the Olivia... Continue Reading →
How Could I Say Goodbye?
Today I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. It has been this way each morning for at least a week. I have known what's coming and I am anything but prepared. This week is packed full off anniversaries. Each one even worse than the one before it. And my heart just isn't... Continue Reading →
Fear
Fear. It's something we all struggle with to some extent every day. The fear of the unknown. Fear of lingering tragedy. Fear of disappointment. Even fear of reality. My heart has been so heavy these past few days. So many of my nearest and dearest are struggling mightily with really big things. Some are struggling... Continue Reading →
My Long Term Relationship With Grief
I have been in a long term relationship with grief for as long as I can remember. You would think it began after my daughter passed away, but in reality it began long before that horrible moment in life. I began to grieve the moment my daughter, Olivia, was diagnosed with brain cancer at 4... Continue Reading →
20 Months and 3 Days
Our family reached another milestone last week. Our littlest, Landon, turned 20 months old. In other words, he reached the age that would be our Olivia's last. Olivia lived for exactly 20 months and 3 days on this earth before she passed away on 10/22/13 from brain cancer. As of today, Landon is 20 months... Continue Reading →
Seas of Change
We recently got back from a week long vacation in San Diego. We had a beautiful time playing on the beach, visiting Sea World, and checking out the tide pools. It was so different from our last visit. We went to San Diego 2.5 years ago about a month after Olivia passed away. It was a... Continue Reading →
More Time In Heaven Than On Earth
Olivia has been in heaven now for 20 months, 1 week and 3 days. She was only alive for 20 months and 3 days. That means that Olivia has officially been in heaven longer than the amount of time she spent on earth. Needless to say the last few weeks have been tough. I think... Continue Reading →
And the clock keeps ticking…
Time seemed to stand still when I was pregnant with Wyatt and Olivia. It felt like I was going to be pregnant forever and that day would never come when I would hold them in my arms and finally become a mother to two living, breathing, beautiful, amazing human beings. And now today I take... Continue Reading →
It Will Never Happen To Me
Having a child die was a great fear of mine. For long before I had children I had a deep-rooted fear that I would have a child get cancer. I don't really know where that fear came from, so I can only assume it was God preparing me for the day that this would become... Continue Reading →
