In the childhood cancer community there is a big emphasis on the importance of mothers. We are the caretakers. The ones who can make a child's tears go away with a simple look or touch. God gave mothers an amazing gift to reach their children when oftentimes no one else can. But he also gave children … Continue reading Daddy’s Heart Is Broken Too
"How are you?" This is a question that we all ask other people many times throughout the day. Everyone expects a simple answer of "Great! How are you?" I know that I am just as guilty of not really wanting to hear what the other person has to say. And even more, I am guilty … Continue reading How Are You?
The day my daughter died I not only began the process of grieving the loss of her physical being and presence in my life, but also the loss of finding out who she would have grown up to be. I'm forever left with a list of what if's and should have beens. Olivia was such … Continue reading Who Would She Be?
When we decided to have another child after Olivia passed away, it was a great hope for us to be able to have another baby that looked somewhat like her. Not to replace her. But simply to be able to look at her sibling and think, "Wow! I can see your sister in you." We … Continue reading A Little Bit of Her
Sometimes I catch myself thinking that all of this must be a truly horrible dream. A terrifying nightmare that I am bound to wake up from at any moment. But of course, it isn't a nightmare. I really did lose my only daughter a little more than 8 months ago after watching her suffer through brain … Continue reading A bad dream
One year ago today we were sitting in a small conference room with Olivia's neuro-oncologist to go over the results of her brain MRI. We were holding our breath... waiting... hoping that we would receive good news that she was still cancer free despite the return of seizures and sleepiness.But that day our prayers weren't … Continue reading June 6, 2013 A Day Never Forgotten
Today marks 7 long months since I watched my little girl take her last breath after a long battle with brain cancer. My heart is just as beaten and broken today as it was the day she passed away.During these 7 months I have learned to put on a brave face. I can smile, laugh, … Continue reading Behind a Grieving Mother’s Smile
Before I had kids it had always been a deep, lingering fear of mine that I would have a child with cancer. The thought terrified me but I never actually thought it would happen to me. I knew a little bit about Leukemia but I had no clue that a baby could get brain cancer.When … Continue reading I Fight, I Cure…And I will Never Stop
There's a beautiful saying I've seen many times on Facebook posted by parents whose children are battling cancer. "Some people never get to meet their hero. I gave birth to mine." What makes this statement so unbelievably beautiful is the truth in it. These amazing kids are heroes. They have endured more in their short … Continue reading Olivia, my hero
The photo above was taken just days before my sweet Olivia took her last breath in the arms of myself and her daddy. This photo captured a family moment of me cuddling with my baby twins for one of the very last times. I should have had a lifetime of cuddles with my babies. I … Continue reading Post Traumatic Stress After Child Loss