I'm not the same person I used to be. Before her. Before cancer. I've always been a bit of a worrier. I'm cautious by nature and I can easily fear the worst. But now I am living through the reality of one of my worst fears coming true. I lost a child. I lost … Continue reading Never The Same
grief
Silence
I've been taking a break from blogging lately. Every time I sit down to start a post, it's like my mind draws a blank. I just haven't been able to go there after the twins birthday on February 19th. The entire month of February was hard for me this year. I went into a depression … Continue reading Silence
4 Years Ago
4 years ago was one of the greatest days of my entire life. It was the day I got to meet my beautiful twins after a very scary pregnancy. My due date was April 10th, but my sweet babies arrived early on February 19th via an emergency c-section due to a severe case of preeclampsia. I will … Continue reading 4 Years Ago
Armor
I've been in survival mode for so many years that it's hard to remember a time when I wasn't. I have survived unthinkable loss and the crazy ups and downs of this life by putting on an armor of sorts. This armor has protected me from every really having to think about how painful the … Continue reading Armor
Surreal
I will never forget the surreal feeling the night Olivia died. It was like I was watching everything take place as I floated above my body. It had to be some other family going through this. It couldn't possibly be real. I've had that same surreal feeling many times over the last 4 years. It … Continue reading Surreal
Three
I have three kids. But only two of them are here with me. Nearly two and a half years ago my precious daughter went to Heaven at just 20 months old after a long battle with brain cancer. Her loss has left behind a never-ending trail of grief and difficult questions. We are often asked … Continue reading Three
How to Love a Grieving Parent
Any parent who has lost a child spends the rest of their life in mourning. They are forever broken. Sad. No longer whole. If you have faith in God you can find some comfort in the fact that your little angel is in the arms of Jesus and they are spared the hurts of this … Continue reading How to Love a Grieving Parent
I Can’t Think Of You
The day I found out I was having a boy and a girl (twins) was truly the best day of my life. I had always hoped to have a little girl. A precious little lady that I could love and cherish and help mold into a wonderful woman some day. Olivia was everything I had hoped … Continue reading I Can’t Think Of You
Cuddles In The Snow
This week Casper was hit by another big snowstorm. The schools were closed and the city stopped while the snow fell heavy all around us. A little more than two years ago a similar snowstorm hit us early in October. We weren't living in Casper yet, but were just up for a visit with my … Continue reading Cuddles In The Snow
A Little Black Shadow
This week brought on another big loss for our family... the death of our beloved dog, Daisy. Her loss has caused a much deeper sadness then I ever anticipated experiencing, despite the fact that she was of course a dear member of our family. Brett and I have had Daisy through everything. She was with … Continue reading A Little Black Shadow
Beauty From The Ashes 