October is by far my least favorite month of the entire year. It is a month that has been filled with tragedy and heartbreak for me. The 22nd of October is the day my daughter died. And this year marks 4 years since she took her last breath in my arms at 20 months and … Continue reading Don’t Forget The I Love You
grief
Sunshine And Hurricanes
Have you ever tried to explain the unexplainable to someone? We all have things that have happened that change you. Things that suddenly redefine who you are at your very core. You can't explain what it has been like. Trying to put the experience into words that do any real justice is impossible. For me … Continue reading Sunshine And Hurricanes
I Would Still Choose You
Being the mother of a sick child is an excruciating experience. There isn't much that could be more painful than watching your baby suffer and not be able to do a thing about it. I have never felt more exhausted than I did during those 16 months that Olivia battled cancer. Every day was a … Continue reading I Would Still Choose You
My Long Term Relationship With Grief
I have been in a long term relationship with grief for as long as I can remember. You would think it began after my daughter passed away, but in reality it began long before that horrible moment in life. I began to grieve the moment my daughter, Olivia, was diagnosed with brain cancer at 4 … Continue reading My Long Term Relationship With Grief
Who I Am
I turned 30 in June and to celebrate this big birthday I went on my first ever girls trip with three of my closest friends. We spent three full days experiencing just a small portion of what Napa and San Francisco had to offer. That time was so wonderful. For the first time maybe ever … Continue reading Who I Am
Here’s To 30
I turned 30 on Sunday. This bigger birthday has caused me to take a step back and look at my life and how it looks drastically different then I expected it to. In some ways that's a beautiful thing. And in others it's very sad. When I turned 20 and imagined my life as a … Continue reading Here’s To 30
Why Mommy?
Wyatt has wanted to talk about his sister a lot lately. He has so many questions about what happened and why she can't be here with us. We drive past the oncology center where she received treatment often and every time he wants me to remember that sissy was treated there. He misses her so much … Continue reading Why Mommy?
The Grieving Mother
The day my daughter died I forever became a grieving mother. I never wanted that title. And it isn't something I would wish on anyone else. Even though I knew Olivia wasn't going to make it, nothing prepared me for the night she took her last breath. To see this tiny human I had … Continue reading The Grieving Mother
Friendship And Grief
Grief is a messy business. It's emotionally draining, sometimes lonely, and often awkward. Losing my daughter has not only changed me drastically; it has also changed my relationships with everyone in my life. It has shown me the true colors of so many, both in good ways and in not so good ways. I've had people … Continue reading Friendship And Grief
If And When
I am in a season of life right now that is far from easy. I have spent the past few days just feeling run down, exhausted and ready to give up. Have you ever felt that way? Like nothing is okay and you no longer have the energy to even pretend like it is. I feel … Continue reading If And When
Beauty From The Ashes 