This morning was one of those days as a parent that I wanted to bang my head against the wall. Wyatt had been throwing temper tantrums nonstop. Landon was only taking cat naps and screaming at the top of his lungs. I put them back in the car after a disastrous trip to the store and … Continue reading Mommy, Sissy Loves You
Children’s Hospital Colorado
How the Grief Continues
Our daughter died more than 19 months ago. The grief is not as raw as it was in those first few hours, days and weeks. But yet it is still there. Ever present. Like a gigantic wound that never heals. Never gets better. It is just different. In those first few moments after she passed, … Continue reading How the Grief Continues
And the clock keeps ticking…
Time seemed to stand still when I was pregnant with Wyatt and Olivia. It felt like I was going to be pregnant forever and that day would never come when I would hold them in my arms and finally become a mother to two living, breathing, beautiful, amazing human beings. And now today I take … Continue reading And the clock keeps ticking…
An Angel in Disguise – A Tribute to Oncology Nurses
In honor of nurses week I would like to take a moment to pause and honor the unsung heroes that are a huge part of any child's battle with cancer. Pediatric oncology nurses. These amazing people are the ones who are with you the most. They hold your hand when you hear those awful words, "your child … Continue reading An Angel in Disguise – A Tribute to Oncology Nurses
18 Months
Today marks 18 months since we said our goodbyes. 18 months since she took her last breath. Since we held her in our arms. Kissed her sweet cheeks. Since we had her in our presence. Olivia only graced this earth for 20 months and 3 days, and with each passing minute we get closer and … Continue reading 18 Months
Scars
Each and every one of us is covered in scars. We carry them emotionally, physically, spiritually. It's a badge that shows what we have been through. It's a sign of both our weakness and our strength. Olivia had many scars. She had one on the left side of her head from her surgical brain biopsy … Continue reading Scars
Mommy’s Little Girl
A few days ago we reached 17 months since Olivia passed away. Life feels more normal but my heart aches because I still miss her with every ounce of my being. We had 20 months and 3 days with our baby girl. It kills me far more than I can explain that she is no … Continue reading Mommy’s Little Girl
It Will Never Happen To Me
Having a child die was a great fear of mine. For long before I had children I had a deep-rooted fear that I would have a child get cancer. I don't really know where that fear came from, so I can only assume it was God preparing me for the day that this would become … Continue reading It Will Never Happen To Me
Who Would She Be?
The day my daughter died I not only began the process of grieving the loss of her physical being and presence in my life, but also the loss of finding out who she would have grown up to be. I'm forever left with a list of what if's and should have beens. Olivia was such … Continue reading Who Would She Be?
A Little Bit of Her
When we decided to have another child after Olivia passed away, it was a great hope for us to be able to have another baby that looked somewhat like her. Not to replace her. But simply to be able to look at her sibling and think, "Wow! I can see your sister in you." We … Continue reading A Little Bit of Her
Beauty From The Ashes 