3 years. Today is 3 whole years since my only daughter died. I barely slept last night as I played the events of October 22, 2013 over and over in my mind. We knew it was coming and for that I am grateful. Olivia was home on hospice care after a 16-month battle with brain … Continue reading 3 Years Later
childhood cancer research
20 Months and 3 Days
Our family reached another milestone last week. Our littlest, Landon, turned 20 months old. In other words, he reached the age that would be our Olivia's last. Olivia lived for exactly 20 months and 3 days on this earth before she passed away on 10/22/13 from brain cancer. As of today, Landon is 20 months … Continue reading 20 Months and 3 Days
Seas of Change
We recently got back from a week long vacation in San Diego. We had a beautiful time playing on the beach, visiting Sea World, and checking out the tide pools. It was so different from our last visit. We went to San Diego 2.5 years ago about a month after Olivia passed away. It was a … Continue reading Seas of Change
Thank You
Sometimes the Timehops from Facebook are enough to make me want to break down. This past week that was definitely true. For three or four days I woke up each morning to a reminder that 3 years ago on June 6, 2013 we found out that Olivia's cancer had returned. For those agonizing days I … Continue reading Thank You
A Choice
Watching cancer take my daughter's life was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. It was something I thought I would never survive. She was the greatest gift I've ever been given that had to be taken away. The day Olivia died my heart was crushed, but I also made a choice. I chose in that moment … Continue reading A Choice
Way Back Then
I've spent a lot of time lately looking back on the past years and sitting back in awe of all that's transpired. On that day in July 2009, my husband and I got married. We had every hope in the world for this new journey we were beginning together. We imagined a life together in … Continue reading Way Back Then
Guilt
Guilt is a constant companion after you lose a child. You feel guilty when you are depressed because you worry that you are neglecting the rest of your family. You also feel guilty when you are doing well because you worry that you are forgetting about the child you lost. The morning after Olivia died … Continue reading Guilt
Silence
I've been taking a break from blogging lately. Every time I sit down to start a post, it's like my mind draws a blank. I just haven't been able to go there after the twins birthday on February 19th. The entire month of February was hard for me this year. I went into a depression … Continue reading Silence
4 Years Ago
4 years ago was one of the greatest days of my entire life. It was the day I got to meet my beautiful twins after a very scary pregnancy. My due date was April 10th, but my sweet babies arrived early on February 19th via an emergency c-section due to a severe case of preeclampsia. I will … Continue reading 4 Years Ago
Armor
I've been in survival mode for so many years that it's hard to remember a time when I wasn't. I have survived unthinkable loss and the crazy ups and downs of this life by putting on an armor of sorts. This armor has protected me from every really having to think about how painful the … Continue reading Armor
Beauty From The Ashes 