The past 6 years have been a rollercoaster that has completely changed who I am as a person. What began as a rather shaky faith in God has morphed into a full belief that has shaped my very being. I wish I could say that faith came easily. But it has been through trial and … Continue reading Even If
Why Mommy?
Wyatt has wanted to talk about his sister a lot lately. He has so many questions about what happened and why she can't be here with us. We drive past the oncology center where she received treatment often and every time he wants me to remember that sissy was treated there. He misses her so much … Continue reading Why Mommy?
Being Her Mommy
I've made it through another Mother's Day. That might seem like a weird thing to say, but the truth is, Mother's Day has been pretty awful for me since I lost Olivia. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love her brothers, but it's hard to be happy on this day when one … Continue reading Being Her Mommy
The Grieving Mother
The day my daughter died I forever became a grieving mother. I never wanted that title. And it isn't something I would wish on anyone else. Even though I knew Olivia wasn't going to make it, nothing prepared me for the night she took her last breath. To see this tiny human I had … Continue reading The Grieving Mother
Friendship And Grief
Grief is a messy business. It's emotionally draining, sometimes lonely, and often awkward. Losing my daughter has not only changed me drastically; it has also changed my relationships with everyone in my life. It has shown me the true colors of so many, both in good ways and in not so good ways. I've had people … Continue reading Friendship And Grief
If And When
I am in a season of life right now that is far from easy. I have spent the past few days just feeling run down, exhausted and ready to give up. Have you ever felt that way? Like nothing is okay and you no longer have the energy to even pretend like it is. I feel … Continue reading If And When
Letting Go
There seems to be a common theme in my life these days. I am reminded daily of the need to let go of the old in order to make room for the new. It's taken a long time and a lot of prayer to begin to embrace this idea. I am someone who desperately wants … Continue reading Letting Go
Lifting The Veil
For as many years as I can remember I was living a life with pretend "perfection." To those on the outside it probably seemed like I was thriving. In reality I was struggling more each day to keep it all together. Everything was falling apart. I was falling apart. Last September my world as I … Continue reading Lifting The Veil
This Is Grief
I have been in the chapel at our church countless times since Olivia's funeral 3.5 years ago. But each time I'm in there all I can see is her casket sitting up on the altar surrounded by flowers. I can still feel the tightness in my chest as I walked out the door behind her … Continue reading This Is Grief
A Mother’s Tears
This past week a beautiful little girl who lives just 45 miles away died from brain cancer. Her death has affected me deeply. It has brought up so many emotions as I remember what the week we lost Olivia was like. When your child is diagnosed with cancer you know the possibility of losing them … Continue reading A Mother’s Tears
Beauty From The Ashes 