This week has been rough. My head has been spinning around the 5th anniversary of Olivia's passing. Exactly 5 years ago yesterday, on October 22, 2013, I held my baby girl in my arms when she took her very last breath at 20 months and 3 days old. All day long my head was filled … Continue reading The Morning After
death of a child
We Could Save Her Today
Yesterday marked 5 years since the day I learned my baby girl was going to die from brain cancer. Normally I spend that day holed up in my house, but this year I spent my day roaming the very halls where I received that news on October 17, 2013. Ever since we started the Olivia … Continue reading We Could Save Her Today
Butterflies & Beauty
Five years ago I visited the Butterfly Pavilion in Denver, Colorado with my (now) ex-husband, my Dad, brother, and our twins, Wyatt & Olivia. This family excursion took place during one of our trips to Denver so Olivia could continue treatment for her second bout with brain cancer. I didn't know it then but that … Continue reading Butterflies & Beauty
He Saved Me
People ask me all the time how I've been able to survive the loss of my only daughter. While my faith in God is a huge part of my survival and peace, I am also certain that the biggest reason I am still standing is that God had also given me Olivia's twin brother, Wyatt. … Continue reading He Saved Me
The Grieving Mother
The day my daughter died I forever became a grieving mother. I never wanted that title. And it isn't something I would wish on anyone else. Even though I knew Olivia wasn't going to make it, nothing prepared me for the night she took her last breath. To see this tiny human I had … Continue reading The Grieving Mother
Friendship And Grief
Grief is a messy business. It's emotionally draining, sometimes lonely, and often awkward. Losing my daughter has not only changed me drastically; it has also changed my relationships with everyone in my life. It has shown me the true colors of so many, both in good ways and in not so good ways. I've had people … Continue reading Friendship And Grief
If And When
I am in a season of life right now that is far from easy. I have spent the past few days just feeling run down, exhausted and ready to give up. Have you ever felt that way? Like nothing is okay and you no longer have the energy to even pretend like it is. I feel … Continue reading If And When
Happy Birthday In Heaven, Darling Girl
Olivia, my darling girl, how I miss you. It's hard to believe that Sunday marked the 4th birthday we've celebrated without you. I never thought your first birthday would be the only one we would get to celebrate together. I will never forget the day of your first birthday party. You were in remission and … Continue reading Happy Birthday In Heaven, Darling Girl
A New Normal
Our family has had to work through difficult transitions countless times over the years. And each one is uniquely hard on all of us. I will never forget the feeling of trying to re-establish our family after Olivia died. We went from a family of four to a family of three in moments. Wyatt lost … Continue reading A New Normal
The Power Of A Parent’s Grief
There has been a lot of talk in the media this week about the passing of Debbie Reynolds so shortly after the death of her daughter. It's brought up the question of whether or not you can die from a broken heart. As a grieving parent myself I can certainly understand why Debbie's heart just … Continue reading The Power Of A Parent’s Grief