Have you ever tried to explain the unexplainable to someone? We all have things that have happened that change you. Things that suddenly redefine who you are at your very core. You can't explain what it has been like. Trying to put the experience into words that do any real justice is impossible. For me … Continue reading Sunshine And Hurricanes
child death
This Is Childhood Cancer
We are just beginning the month of August, which means we are getting closer each day to September. September is a month that has come to mean a lot to me. It is no longer just about the start of school and the beginning of Fall. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, which is … Continue reading This Is Childhood Cancer
My Long Term Relationship With Grief
I have been in a long term relationship with grief for as long as I can remember. You would think it began after my daughter passed away, but in reality it began long before that horrible moment in life. I began to grieve the moment my daughter, Olivia, was diagnosed with brain cancer at 4 … Continue reading My Long Term Relationship With Grief
Here’s To 30
I turned 30 on Sunday. This bigger birthday has caused me to take a step back and look at my life and how it looks drastically different then I expected it to. In some ways that's a beautiful thing. And in others it's very sad. When I turned 20 and imagined my life as a … Continue reading Here’s To 30
He Saved Me
People ask me all the time how I've been able to survive the loss of my only daughter. While my faith in God is a huge part of my survival and peace, I am also certain that the biggest reason I am still standing is that God had also given me Olivia's twin brother, Wyatt. … Continue reading He Saved Me
Even If
The past 6 years have been a rollercoaster that has completely changed who I am as a person. What began as a rather shaky faith in God has morphed into a full belief that has shaped my very being. I wish I could say that faith came easily. But it has been through trial and … Continue reading Even If
Being Her Mommy
I've made it through another Mother's Day. That might seem like a weird thing to say, but the truth is, Mother's Day has been pretty awful for me since I lost Olivia. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love her brothers, but it's hard to be happy on this day when one … Continue reading Being Her Mommy
The Grieving Mother
The day my daughter died I forever became a grieving mother. I never wanted that title. And it isn't something I would wish on anyone else. Even though I knew Olivia wasn't going to make it, nothing prepared me for the night she took her last breath. To see this tiny human I had … Continue reading The Grieving Mother
Friendship And Grief
Grief is a messy business. It's emotionally draining, sometimes lonely, and often awkward. Losing my daughter has not only changed me drastically; it has also changed my relationships with everyone in my life. It has shown me the true colors of so many, both in good ways and in not so good ways. I've had people … Continue reading Friendship And Grief
If And When
I am in a season of life right now that is far from easy. I have spent the past few days just feeling run down, exhausted and ready to give up. Have you ever felt that way? Like nothing is okay and you no longer have the energy to even pretend like it is. I feel … Continue reading If And When
Beauty From The Ashes 