2017 is quickly coming to an end and it has me reflecting on how much life has changed this year. This has been a year of transitions and new beginnings. Some of those transitions have been horribly painful while others have been truly great. 2017 was the year my marriage officially ended after separating near … Continue reading Embracing The New
childhood cancer
She Saw Jesus
People ask me often how I can cling to my faith the way I do after losing my only daughter to brain cancer before she even made it to her 2nd birthday. And the answer to that question always takes me back to the night Olivia died. Watching a loved one, especially your child, die … Continue reading She Saw Jesus
How Could I Say Goodbye?
Today I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. It has been this way each morning for at least a week. I have known what's coming and I am anything but prepared. This week is packed full off anniversaries. Each one even worse than the one before it. And my heart just isn't … Continue reading How Could I Say Goodbye?
Last Snow
The first snow storm of the season blanketed Casper earlier this week. As I watched the snow fall, silently covering the city in white, my mind took me back in time to the first Casper snow four years ago. Ironically, just as I am this week, I was fighting my first cold of the season … Continue reading Last Snow
I give you my word
Guest Blog Written By: Mark Caldwell (Olivia's Paternal Grandfather) A little over four years ago a friend of mine whom I worked with at a country club in Reno said these words to me. Eric Dye was a former Marine who had seen duty overseas in Iraq and was home following his dream of becoming a … Continue reading I give you my word
To My Broken Hearted Boy
I write often about the struggles that come with being a grieving mother. The loss of my daughter can be all consuming. Especially this time of year as we rapidly approach the anniversary of Olivia's death. But what I don't talk about very often is the incredible toll the loss of Olivia has taken on … Continue reading To My Broken Hearted Boy
He Became An Ironman For Olivia
Yesterday was one of the best days of my entire life. I had the absolute honor of watching a man I had never met in person compete in the Coeur d'Alene Ironman Triathlon. And he did the whole thing to remember my daughter, Olivia, and raise money for pediatric cancer research. Eric Dye worked with … Continue reading He Became An Ironman For Olivia
Hope
I was listening to the radio the other day and heard a quote that really spoke to my heart. " Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness" Desmond Tutu Life is tough right now for so many around me. My loved ones are scared and facing colossal life … Continue reading Hope
I Would Still Choose You
Being the mother of a sick child is an excruciating experience. There isn't much that could be more painful than watching your baby suffer and not be able to do a thing about it. I have never felt more exhausted than I did during those 16 months that Olivia battled cancer. Every day was a … Continue reading I Would Still Choose You
Fear
Fear. It's something we all struggle with to some extent every day. The fear of the unknown. Fear of lingering tragedy. Fear of disappointment. Even fear of reality. My heart has been so heavy these past few days. So many of my nearest and dearest are struggling mightily with really big things. Some are struggling … Continue reading Fear
Beauty From The Ashes 