To My Broken Hearted Boy

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I write often about the struggles that come with being a grieving mother. The loss of my daughter can be all consuming. Especially this time of year as we rapidly approach the anniversary of Olivia’s death.

But what I don’t talk about very often is the incredible toll the loss of Olivia has taken on her twin brother, Wyatt. People ask me all the time if he even remembers her. If he really understands that he has a twin sister. He does. I know that without a shadow of a doubt.

My sweet little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy has had his heart broken more times than I would ever like to count. He survived premature birth, watching his sister go through cancer treatment, and then losing her at the tender age of 20 months old. He has also had to live through his parents divorce and the tremendous amount of disruption that has caused. And all those losses and changes have been so hard on my oldest boy.

There are times when Wyatt is so angry about all that’s happened that he can’t do anything besides fall to his knees, fists clenched and scream in rage. Sometimes he throws things. He yells. He hits. He sobs hysterically. He doesn’t know what to count on. He questions whether all the people he loves will be taken away one way or another. These are huge questions that a 5 year old should never have to ponder. To say it breaks my heart is the understatement of the century.

I have a hard enough time as an adult wrapping my head around why childhood cancer had to enter our family. I have no idea why our walk has been so incredibly hard. I don’t even pretend to have the answers to those questions. But to know that my boy is dealing with these same things at his sweet age is enough to bring me to tears daily.

Pediatric cancer doesn’t just affect the child battling cancer or the parents. It also changes the lives of the siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends forever. You cannot watch a child battle cancer and not have it change you drastically.

You can do something. Donate at least $25 to the Olivia Caldwell Foundation before September 30th and be entered into a drawing for 2 tickets to the University of Wyoming vs. New Mexico football game on October 28th. Be part of the change. Help save the lives of children battling cancer today and those who will in the future. Our kids deserve better than this.

The Olivia Caldwell Foundation is a 501c3 nonprofit that raises money for pediatric cancer research. To date we have given $155,000 to pediatric cancer research. You can learn more and donate by visiting www.oliviacaldwellfoundation.org.

 

 

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