Today marks 18 months since we said our goodbyes. 18 months since she took her last breath. Since we held her in our arms. Kissed her sweet cheeks. Since we had her in our presence. Olivia only graced this earth for 20 months and 3 days, and with each passing minute we get closer and … Continue reading 18 Months
child loss
Scars
Each and every one of us is covered in scars. We carry them emotionally, physically, spiritually. It's a badge that shows what we have been through. It's a sign of both our weakness and our strength. Olivia had many scars. She had one on the left side of her head from her surgical brain biopsy … Continue reading Scars
PTSD After Child Loss
After you lose a child, you experience the most horrifying of fears coming true. This precious baby that once took up residence in your belly has left this earth for Heaven before you. It goes against the natural order of life that we all take for granted. And after that horrible reality takes place, you … Continue reading PTSD After Child Loss
Mommy’s Little Girl
A few days ago we reached 17 months since Olivia passed away. Life feels more normal but my heart aches because I still miss her with every ounce of my being. We had 20 months and 3 days with our baby girl. It kills me far more than I can explain that she is no … Continue reading Mommy’s Little Girl
It Will Never Happen To Me
Having a child die was a great fear of mine. For long before I had children I had a deep-rooted fear that I would have a child get cancer. I don't really know where that fear came from, so I can only assume it was God preparing me for the day that this would become … Continue reading It Will Never Happen To Me
Daddy’s Heart Is Broken Too
In the childhood cancer community there is a big emphasis on the importance of mothers. We are the caretakers. The ones who can make a child's tears go away with a simple look or touch. God gave mothers an amazing gift to reach their children when oftentimes no one else can. But he also gave children … Continue reading Daddy’s Heart Is Broken Too
How Are You?
"How are you?" This is a question that we all ask other people many times throughout the day. Everyone expects a simple answer of "Great! How are you?" I know that I am just as guilty of not really wanting to hear what the other person has to say. And even more, I am guilty … Continue reading How Are You?
Who Would She Be?
The day my daughter died I not only began the process of grieving the loss of her physical being and presence in my life, but also the loss of finding out who she would have grown up to be. I'm forever left with a list of what if's and should have beens. Olivia was such … Continue reading Who Would She Be?
A Little Bit of Her
When we decided to have another child after Olivia passed away, it was a great hope for us to be able to have another baby that looked somewhat like her. Not to replace her. But simply to be able to look at her sibling and think, "Wow! I can see your sister in you." We … Continue reading A Little Bit of Her
Moving On
Our family has gone through a lot of changes in the past few months. We moved to a new city. Brett started a new job. We sold our family home in Rawlins where we lived with Olivia and bought a new house in Casper. And we are just a few weeks away from welcoming another … Continue reading Moving On
Beauty From The Ashes 